KEEP ON KEEPING ON!

As the work days come and go, school seems to be like a second nature. You go, teach, every now and then something funny, fun, or rewarding happens, but it feels more like it is such a routine every day that is never broken. However, I am talking about the normal classrooms. Every time I walk into another classroom, it is the same, boring seating arrangement. Same boring lessons. Same kids sleeping in the corner with their books up trying to look interested, and half the time I swear it is the same lessons being taught. It is as if the world is becoming little robots with certain things to teach and learn, only because the books tell you. If it isn't in the book, don't teach it. Life examples no longer are taught, yet, frowned upon because students should not know about our personal lives. Maybe this is just at Yvonne Learning Center, but either way, that is what I am experiencing, and it is getting to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes, however, I envy those classrooms with structure. The ones who can do anything they want in their rooms and it stays that way. Who actually HAVE books to teach out of, and are working with the age or children they are trained to work with. Last year I observed in a Special Education classroom and the teacher, who had been there over 25 years, told me the burn-out rate is 3 years in Special Education. While it seems high, I now know why. Also, that is in the typical Special Education classroom. The one at Yvonne Learning Center is anything but typical, however. While I have been hiding the details, may I fill you in on the reasons the burn-out rate here is about 2 weeks. I am passing the bar by about 16 weeks or so now, and only two to go.

My typical day:

First off, I walk into my classroom that looks like a typical tornado has went through it. Desks are everywhere, accompanied with chairs. Remotes to TV's, DVD players, and every other gadget that has a remote, are lying everywhere, half with batteries in them, half with the batteries littering the floors. Bookshelves are rearranged, table are flipped, my desk and files are nowhere to be found, later realized they are on the floor in the corner. My white board is somewhere else in the school. And chaotic noises fill the corridors as the voices are heard "worshipping" in the back room.

I take about 15 minutes, rearranging everything in the classroom to make it look like a normal learning environment. Re-sweep the floors, making them look presentable again, and make straight lines with desks and chairs, knowing they won't last past the first five minutes of class, as the students think they can sit where they want, moving the desks anywhere. I get out the appropriate books for class, even though no one dares take a book to do assignments or look at during class. Another, obvious waste of time on my part, but I continue on, doing the same everyday. The classroom is finally back to a learning environment, even though the AC is still not turned on.

Next, I walk to the back to catch the last or worship, as kids DON'T worship, but use it as a time to catch up with friends. While it is a Christian school, I am yet to see a Christian act by any student, and by the majority of the staff. It seems like church and Christ are not talked about, except when they are making a point when someone has been bad, but even then it is very atypical. When worship is over, my boys wait in the Middle School class for attendance to be taken then make the trek to my room. A whole ten feet that they always get lost in, and take 15 minutes to do. Sounds like the truth is being stretched, while really, I am being quite lax. It is more like 20 to 30 minutes but I am cutting them a break. This all is before "class" actually starts.

Settling everyone down enough to get out a journal and start writing takes a good 30 minutes. Same for spelling words, and getting out reading books. More time is wasted in this classroom by shear laziness than anything else. Well, this obviously reflects the teacher, right? I suppose it may, I will accept credit, however, I could pull guns on these boys and they still wouldn't move. Not to be funny, but the only thing I found to scare these boys is talk of the KKK. Mention those letters together and they get moving, however, can white guy in a black school really use these letters? Absolutely not. The only time they have been brought up is when they asked if Kansas has the KKK. Other than that, I am too scared, and too respectful to bring this up much more than that. However, it would work to get them moving.

Every once in a great while, I get them all working on something, always to be interrupted by someone in authority at the school, needing something done so they ask my boys. Is it really too much work for an adult to carry three chairs from a room? Here, yes it is! Of course it is my class that is interrupted to do these deeds. Not a class where the students don't have disabilities in reading and need all the time they can get in class. Structure is something that I work on continually, as Special Education needs more structure than any other classroom, however, it is something that is not allowed here. Perhaps the administration needs a lesson on how to write a blog; they call in a specialist on the idea, kick us out of the classroom into the back room, give us chairs from the preschool that are no taller than my ankles, and tell me to teach back there. Are you kidding me? My classroom is taken over multiple times for stupid reasons, not even allowed normal chairs, and I am supposed to teach a child, 16 years old, to read? I don't know any specialist in the world that would be able to pull this task off, let alone, an art major from the country.

Under the strange circumstances, I finally get the boys back on track in the back room, doing our work when the meeting up front is over, and they demand we come back up to the front, once again, stopping all progress on learning. And we aren't even to lunch.

Come 11:30, I am forced outside to watch the lunchroom, even though there is another teacher out there. One they listen to and respect, due to his skin color. Does this sound racist, absolutely, but is it? No way! It is the truth, and nothing more. So why am I forced to sit out there from 11:30-1, and then forced to take a break from 1-1:30 where I can not even see my students? This is 2 hours every day wasted, while my "Special Education" boys just sit in the back room under no supervision. They sit and do nothing, even though they have homework. But here, it would be a sin to do homework at school during free time. Shoot, it would be a sin to do homework at all!

After the break is taken, and everyone is full from lunch, everyone knows that nap time comes. So, my boys are called to the preschool to set up beds for the students because once again, it is not the teachers and administrations responsibility to do this, but the Special Education students in the school's responsibilities. Come 2 o'clock or so, the boys slowly make their way back to my classroom, as I am sitting there like a bump on a log. Quickly, knowing we have no time left, I go to the board and try a simple math lesson, to turn around and find everyone quietly sleeping, or up roaming around like they own the school. I am yet to finish a math lesson in one class period.

Finally, 2:55 comes and it is time to leave. All the students talk about during school is how they want to go home, yet, when the time comes, you can not get them to leave the school. They stay in my room, annoying me as I try to get some work done. I put a broom and mop in their hand and tell them to clean, which lasts for about 10 minutes, and 1/4 of the room. I have never seen someone mop so horribly, but, they think it is doable. Once I get them to leave, I have to stay until 4:15, which drags on longer than the teaching day itself. Before I go, however, if the floor really needs it, I sweep it again and mop it again, making it look very presentable, since it is right near the office. I then line everything up, leaving it the way I want it to look the next morning, with my desk looking like an orderly desk, and desks in straight lines. Why I bother, I don't really know. It is going to be a wreck the next day. But I "keep on keeping on" as my high school football coach told me in a recent email.

"You are making a difference whether you think you are or not. You just got to keep on keeping on!"

These are the words that get me through every day. I never knew how much power a simple phrase from a simple man had, but with them, I am changing the world!