After reading their letters and hearing them say that they want me to come back, the boys have not really proven to have been telling the full truth. Homework has not been done, attitudes have been flaring, and no one has been giving it their all. To top things off, they have all been bringing things in to class that is not really supposed to be there. Everyone thought that they should bring shades, necklaces, or forget their time at home. Just yesterday, I heard some music being played, and the sound indicated that it was obviously coming from headphones in one of my boys ears. Someone had an mp3 player, and I was determined to get it.
Later on in the day, I saw one boy have a headphone in his right ear with the wire strategically going down the inside of his shirt to the player in his shorts. I told him to give it to me, as he willingly did, knowing I wasn't putting up with anything like that, and I also would never back down. Putting up a fight is pointless, because in my dictatorship in my classroom, I never lose. Well, he pulled it out and out fell a razor blade onto the chair. I don't think much of it, but pick it up and ask what it is for. He replies, "So if anyone tries me." This being a threat, we can not take it lightly and I get the principal involved. It was one of the most vicious butt-chewings I had ever witnessed, yet, that was all that happened. I didn't know if I should feel safe, or in danger, but I sure let him know that I was not happy with what was going on with his attitude. The day continued on as if nothing had happened, but I was sure to watch my back as you of course would be a bit nervous.
Today, his father was required to come in and meet with us, which went very smooth. The father seemed very supportive of us, and even more disappointed in his son. It was hard to watch my students face sink, as I knew that he was, deep down inside, a very good kid. Things continued on until lunch when everyone left, but this boy stayed. "Can I talk to you Mr Isaac?" Of course I am never going to turn a student down that wants some of my time, so I engage into his conversation.
Over the next 30 minutes, I heard a young man from the hood of Little Haiti, Miami, Florida, spill his guts to me, exclaiming that he would really like to change. However, his life is so far in the wrong direction, it is very hard for him to get on the right track. That right track starts in my classroom. "I never wanted to hurt anyone Mr. Isaac. I forgot it was in my pocket. You know me. You know that I don't have it in me to ever hurt anyone. I hate the site of blood, and never want to hurt anything." My heart ached as I knew he was telling the truth. He could very well be in jail this morning for the actions he took the day before when bringing a weapon to school. Had this happened, I would feel guilty for the rest of my life, and he simply did make a mistake.
But who is to say that he was not lying to me? Looking into this kids eyes, I could tell he was not throwing out a random line trying to fool his teacher. This boy is nothing but serious in these talks.
So what is it that he sees in me that he can come to me and tell me all these insights to his secretive life? I am not sure. Or, I wasn't until he opened his mouth to speak. "I don't respect anyone else in this school Isaac, because no one else here ever respects me. I have never had a teacher respect me like you do. I know that you care for us and do what is best." This could be the key words to one of the hardest things or tasks put in front of me. I hope God has picked the right patriarch to take on this challenge that will test every nerve in my body. But what me? What do I have that someone else doesn't? I can't wait to find out!
No comments:
Post a Comment